Realising the Passion

Crash, boom, slap, cut, replace, sew, heal, sit, pedal, wince, envy, fight, thrive and soon now, freedom!

That was just a brief splurge of all my thoughts when I think about my crash up until this point. I haven’t felt the cool early morning air rushing past my fast. Flowing into my ears and whirling out the noises of everything that doesn’t matter when you’re on two wheels.

My trainer sent me a training program which was odd since I am still in the wind training days of recovery. Opening it up and I found out that I was going to be getting the engine ready for some speed and interval work. Legs can still work, but you need to keep them tuned if you want the most out of them.


So yeah, I have been sweating,wincing and pedalling hard and fast. Cadence thrashing and stomping of bursts of speed into the pedals. Every interval brings me closer to each day, and each day brings me closer to my meeting with the surgeon to get the O.K. to get back to it. To push my bike out and go riding. Mind you I will only be able to road ride but it’s better then watching TV and biting the bars.


Taking away my bike and my ability to get around to places has be devastating. Everything that makes me happy has been stripped away. The car drive to the dirt trails gone, I don’t get to tune out and listen to some music at four or five AM in the morning as I head towards the trail. Not being able to bunny hop and fly down single track. I am even missing road cycling with my friends, and being able to stand up and climb a mountain or race my friend to the next road sign. All gone.

And now, hopefully I will get most of it back. It has been tough emotionally for me personally. The crash hasn’t created many practical problems that I couldn’t handle or sort out mentally. I had a plan within the first ten minutes of the crash of how I was going to work things out. It was just a matter of getting up and sitting on the bike for training. Where it hurt most was my emotions.

I never quite realised how much I loved cycling. All the tired early mornings, long exhausting rides were hard. Hard to start and sometimes, worse during. If I hadn’t eaten well or my body wasn’t responding well to the day I was going to suffer. It’s only now I can respect and notice how cycling moulds me. I may be more exhausted in the day and sleepier, even silly. Jumping on the bike and riding can bring more out of me than most things. Cycling brings out the happiness in me.


Walking to a train, standing on a train and walking amongst thousands of people isn’t me. Having to wait for a train or traffic lights and dodge pedestrians is so boring on foot. I am use to flying past pedestrians J-walking and squeezing through un-squeezable gaps. Jumping curves and drafting off cars. Being able to come and go when I please. The surface of the earth was mine to ride.

I haven’t been the happiest since the injury, and it’s not fun waking up and knowing nothing exciting is going to happen in your life that day. Training less and at lower intensity has been making me feel bummed. Doing this interval sessions has perked me up and knowing I will be able to cycle soon is fantastic.


I am not sure what message or point I wanted to give to people through this post. I just wanted to give my readers my view and take on how I have dealt with this. I guess one thing to take from this post is that make the most of what you enjoy. Sit down and write out what you love about what you do and why that is. Then take that all away for at least six weeks or if even that, twelve weeks, like they told me from the start.


Determination or Caution

IMG_0450Since the crash things in my day to day life has changed like my my priorities and my focus. My days have slowed down, the things I would normally do I can’t, or they take a lot longer to complete. Things as little as putting on clothes to making breakfast, doing errands and trying to type up blog posts with one hand.

Number one priority is to heal fast and let my clavicle heal well without any set backs. At the same time I am eager and focussed to keep fit and maintain my previous months of base training. I have been taking it easy this first week doing only an hour of wind training each day which I break up into two, thirty minute session for mental purposes and comfort. With the sling and doctors orders I am not allowed to lean forward meaning I have to sit up right and spin – my butt gets sore and numb.

Wind training is quite hard to get motivated for, due to the fact I have only recently had surgery and I want to play on the cautious side of the situation I am in. Not only that I feel the need to play it safe, I am also on medication that can make me feel quite woozy and not a 100% trough out the day. But I feel as if I sit on that bike and chip away at it my mind will get stronger and as I heal and get better I will have a stronger mind to train with.

I do seriously miss clipping in to my bike and rolling out into the world and have that wind flow past my ears. At least I have more time writing up blog posts of rides I have done and have not gotten around to typing up.